Stretching, Part II

So, James has been back in the NICU for about five months now. He switched back after working on the Crirical Care Transport Team for nearly a year. Though he loved the work on Transport, the longer shifts, and some issues there made it really hard on our family for a while. After a lot of discussion and prayer, we decided it was worth going back to work in the Unit again. It has been a hard road. James has missed flying especially, and the NICU isn't the same since they have nearly doubled in size of patients and nurses. He has had less challenging patients, since there are so many more employees to split the most critical babies between, and has felt like he was just not being used to the best of his abilities. Though I knew he was struggling with discouragement, I didn't want to think of another change, and am ashamed to admit my reaction several weeks ago when he tried to broach the subject. I burst into tears, and said I just couldn't talk about it right then. My dear husband kindly gave me a few days to think and process, and the next conversation went much better. He is such a kind man, and unselfish husband, because he really wanted to hear my opinion and depended on me to tell him the truth about my view of the potential job change. We are forever doing "Pros/Cons" lists, and I had a few on each.

The Pros for CCT were:
* James loves Transport b/c it is challenging and exciting. He is THE person flying to get a patient, with only a Respiratory Therapist as a partner, so it is major responsibility, and use of many skills to care for the patient aboard a helicopter usually (or jet or ambulance).
* His partner is great and they are a good team.
* Former frustrating (hospital politics) issues are no longer a factor, so when not on a call, he can rest. If he does, when he comes home, he is awake and with us!

Cons:
* 12 hour shifts require him to leave around 6 pm, 7 nights a week.
* Increased danger (helicopter or jet or ambulance crashing)
* If they run calls all night, he still has to sleep when he comes home, and we really have zero time with him.
* I have to do the bedtime routine with all three children, which is a challenge, since they do not go to sleep easily at all.

Pros for the NICU:
* Several close friends add to the enjoyment of the job.
* He is great at caring for sick babies.
* Shorter, 11-7 shift enables him to be here through dinner, bath, and bedtime with the kids.
* Danger pretty non-existent.

Cons:
* Job is less challenging due to the changes in the unit's size.
* Always up all night, so must sleep all day.

There was no clear right or wrong choice. It came down to what we felt God was telling us to do. We prayed for peace about it all, and God truly enabled me to be fine with James' going back to CCT. He didn't manipulate or convince me. I just knew that while he is able to do this job he loves, I want to encourage him. Since he provides for our whole family, I am glad he can do what he loves, and it allows me the privilege to be able to stay home and be a wife and mom. It was not even hard to agree, because I knew that James really wanted the best for our family, and would accept it if I really had a problem. We are working hard on getting the kids to go to bed without the long, drawn out routine that it has become, really because of our lack of discipline. We needed to deal with that anyway, so now have more motivation.

This whole scenario was hard for me, because it does take me beyond my comfortable, known routine of nearly five years of the 11-7 NICU shift James has worked. It's good to stretch though, when you love someone - and he is so worth it. So, July 9th, my husband will be back to flying on that helicopter, and I'm very happy for him! We would appreciate your prayers for his safety, and our adjustment back to the evenings without him. Especially, please ask for good sleep for my kiddos!

Reason #4,879,694 why I love my husband

If you know James at all, you are probably aware of his kind, sweet nature, easy-going personality, and sense of humor. As his wife of nearly 13 years (!), and the person who hopefully knows him better than anyone, I am in awe of many other wonderful traits of his. The one that I'm focused on currently is his complete lack of selfishness and the sacrifice he continually makes to support our family. He is a giving person by nature, and is known for his servant-heart. However, the other night, I witnessed something that reminded me again how utterly devoted he is to loving us and providing for our family.

James has passionately loved helicopters for years. He has even trained us to love them, and the kids and I are so attuned to the sound of one, we can hear them before most normal people! James can identify the type by just listening to them for a second. It's amazing. He has also desired to be a flight nurse for years, and knowing his experience as a paramedic and his natural gifts, I wholeheartedly supported his decision to go back to school to become a nurse several years ago. He did very well in school, and was quickly hired afterward, to work at Children's Hospital in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. His experience there has been great, and he has enjoyed the relationship with his co-workers in the unit, as well as the opportunity to care for little and/or sick babies. His ultimate desire to work on Children's Transport Team was realized last year, when a rare, full-time position became available. Though the shift was still a 7 day on/7 day off shift, the shifts are longer (12 hours vs. 8 hours), and the pay is actually less, we decided that he would take the position, and we would see how it worked with our family's needs. It's still a night position, so he works all night and then comes home and sleeps during the day. After 8 months of this, James loves the job as much as ever, but we have really had to struggle financially, and with the fact that each work night, he leaves at 6 pm, so one week out of two, dinner, bath, and bedtime is all up to Mama. And, with 3 little people, that is hard. It's not impossible, and we have certainly survived. But, it's become more and more necessary for James to try and pick up extra shifts in the NICU, to supplement what he makes while already working 84 hours in a week. That is just crazy!!


So, we have recently come to a decision that the money isn't the only issue, but our family needs him around more, and so he will be going to go back to his position in the NICU. This was long-prayed about, but is still very sad to me. James has a great attitude about it, thankful that he had the months he did on Transport, but I'm so disappointed that he can't earn enough, and be home as much, doing the job he'd prefer. Thankfully, he does love working in the unit also, so it's not drudgery to return there, to folks he loves, and babies he is so great with.

Then, there was the incident that pushed me into a sobbing fit Monday night, and led to this post. We had enjoyed a family trip to the Zoolight Safari at the B'ham Zoo, and then dinner afterward with our dear friends/family, the Barlows. Dear James, of course, didn't get to eat, since he had to head to work. I took his dinner to him after we finished up, and he was heading out on a call right then. The kids and I have never been able to see him leave on the helicopter, and though we didn't get to go to the helipad, we observed from the parking lot below. When we heard that awesome "thwack-thwack-thwack," we just squealed and cheered! It was so amazing, and we saw him waving out of the window, as we jumped up and down, waving back. I can't describe the emotion and pride I felt as he was taking off, knowing that he LOVES that, and he's leaving it - because of us.

I'm crying right now just picturing how he lights up when he talks about the helicopter job. However, he is so thankful to just be employed, whether it's the position he'd love the most, or not. We do have so much to be thankful for, in a struggling economy, with so many folks willing to do any kind of work whatsoever. Believe me, I know that. My point here is just that my sweet husband is again demonstrating the same character and integrity he consistently has had ever since I've known him. It is a humbling, awesome thing to be loved so much.

Thank you, sweetheart. We are so thankful God gave us you. We love you more!