Our beautiful boy turns 14

Isaac turned 14 this month. It has been a month of busyness, but he deserves his own blog post for such a milestone, so I am sitting down determined to get it documented.

We have fought hard through our relationship this year, my oldest and me. There is a whole lot that is his story to tell, but I will at least sum it with saying that being a teenager is hard, no matter who you are. If you add in some learning struggles, being the oldest in a family of people with very different personalities than yourself, and also the adoption and attachment factor, life can be a doozy. The past few years have been HARD. This past year has been painful at times, beyond my imagination and anything I could have prepared for. At times, we have not liked each other much, and we have struggled to live peaceably in our home. Hurt and fear and resentment from deep within Isaac have been directed toward me, even though afterward he'd say that things were not my fault and he really didn't mean them. It still hurt, though. Forgiveness and grace have been words and actions we have had to both employ to get through such hurdles. Not knowing how to communicate how he's felt, or even what he has felt, has frustrated him to no end. Counselors have helped us work through a lot of stuff, and we are seeing more and more hope, and glimpses of true relationship; real communication, voluntary hugs, spontaneous "I love you, Mom."  I cannot explain the depth of feeling that wells up within me when those moments occur. They keep me going and give me strength that we are fighting this monster of discouragement and anxiety back again, with true Love and Hope in Christ as our weapons. Unconditional love - such a gift.

So, this birthday meant more than just another year older. It meant not only did we survive, we have made progress, and we can rejoice that we were all together, as a family working on being better together. We are grateful for Isaac's life, and for his birthmom who had courage to do the right, hard thing when she relinquished her rights to mother him. I am forever grateful. I'm more grateful that God chose me to mother him, and how He forgives me when I fail miserably, and how Isaac does the same - a gift of forgiveness.

To the fellow adoptive parents I text late at night, my parents who know all the good and bad and still cheer us on, the counselors who offer wisdom and also compassion - how could we have made it without you? You have given us courage to see each day as full of new mercies, because you remind us so. Another gift...

A public school teacher who educates him and gives me great feedback on his behavior and progress at school, so I can focus on being a mom right now has blessed us so much. A bus driver who has been an encourager, a listening ear, and another set of eyes to watch over our son daily - both unexpected gifts to bring peace and comfort to Isaac and us.

We have youth workers and ministers at church and other adults in our lives who have taken Isaac on as their buddy, who have poured into him and loved him where he is. That is a kind of patience that ministers to him of course, but you have no idea what it means to us as his parents. Thank you for the gift of your patience.

This song is one of those I listened to and sang a lot to him as I snuggled him to sleep when he was first transitioning to our home. The words still bring me to tears every single time I hear them. They sum up this precious gift we've been given, and how grateful I am to be able to be the mom to such a son. They fit our lives then, and still do now. We are getting better, but it is such hard work. However, even as he ages and has to separate from us some, we are learning together. So grateful.

Close your eyes
Have no fear
The monster's gone
He's on the run and your daddy's here

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better

Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
'Cause it's a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

--John Lennon

getting to know you

first night at our house

adoption celebration photo

joy

 

family of 4

brotherly love

growing up

sweet snaggle tooth

wonderful special olympics day

14!

10 year old turtle

family party

weeping may endure for the night

I tried to push all this down and not blog on it. I just didn't want to go here, and have fought it all day...The topic is one I've covered plenty in the past and thought I was pretty done with it personally. Then, today it became apparent how very much infertility in my past affects me to this day. I'll back up and explain.

James and I are facilitating the study of a great book at church during our Bible study hour. It's Adopted for Life, by Russell Moore. You can read glowing reviews everywhere on this book, and I agree so far that it is really the best comprehensive volume I've ever read on actual physical adoption of children and also our spiritual adoption by God. We are just four chapters in, and have covered some great truth from Scripture regarding our status as adoptees by our Heavenly Father, and the call to care for orphans that is mandated in the Bible. There is SO much in this book and I can't summarize it to do it justice, so please just go read it. :-)

Anyway, today's chapter was for the couple who has yet to become parents, and then couples who already have children, and how adoption applies to each. I started the chapter honestly thinking how this would be hard for some folks in our group who have faced infertility struggles, and also might not apply to others, since we have couples who are planning to marry but haven't yet, and couples with biological and adopted kids, so there is a wide range of situations in our class. I didn't feel concerned in the least that it would be painful for ME, or that discussing the way infertility affects a couple can impact them so greatly. While reading the book, I even logically made notes, and thought through a great deal of Moore's opinions and stories, and found myself agreeing with it and not being disturbed or anything.

Then, today. We passed around the handouts with simple notes and references James and I'd put together to help us work through the material. James introduced the topic, and began with points of Moore's regarding the perspective many couples have when facing a life with no children. Moore reiterates that it is normal and healthy to feel deep sadness over not being able to conceive and he quoted verses mentioning Rachel and Hannah, and their groaning, desperate pleas for children. He discussed how many women especially feel abandoned by God when realizing that "barren" may be a term used to describe them, and the deep shame and hurt that can cause. Thankfully, he summed up that section saying how infertility (and cancer and other illnesses or conditions) are a result of the fall and sin, they are NOT issues related to our personal sin. We are not individually cursed with infertility because we've done something sinful. We live in a fallen world, with imperfect bodies and the effect of this earth being cursed as well.

Somewhere in there though, I really just became overwhelmed with sadness, remembering so many moments over years, of hurting and disappointment and downright grieving, when we could not have children when we wanted. I wanted to be embarrassed and snap out of it, but just couldn't. The tears started flowing, and wouldn't stop for a while.

Those memories are so vivid and painful, reflecting on the hurtful things people said, the feeling of failure repeatedly, frustration over others having babies they didn't even want, feeling I was just defective and the shame that brought, and the confusion over why God didn't answer us the way we were asking.

I am so grateful I can see, on this side of things, more of that big picture He was viewing, as I saw only the tiny pieces right in front of me. His timing was perfect, with each of our kids. Isaac needed a family when we were wanting a baby. We adopted him out of pure joy and complete commitment to raising him as our own son, the same as if he was ours biologically. He was not a consolation prize, but the answer to our prayers for parenthood. The shock of then finding out we were expecting Abigail was so incredible, after assuming the doctors were right and we would probably not conceive. Having them join our families within two years in different ways sure changed things. We were so happy with them and thankful for the two children - a boy and a girl - God blessed us with, but always felt if someone was missing. We considered updating our foster parents certification, and even started the process, then just stopped when James knew he wasn't ready to face the emotional upheaval while also in school and working full-time. I kept two different little boys for a year, each, and that was a sweet way of helping other moms who were working, but also filled our home for a part of every day with little ones. That was such a blessing to us all.

After another few years of failed attempts to conceive and more treatment, we surrendered that apparently two was our maximum number of children for the time, and adoption would have to be considered again later if we decided to grow our family more. We were fine with that, but just knew it was time to wait and renew our joy with the blessings we already had.

God's so funny. Within 2 months of that clear surrendering our plans to the Lord, I was pregnant again. It was quite an adjustment to start all over with a baby again, after a 5 and 8 year gap. We loved getting to know Elijah and his special place in our family. Settling in with him added to our routine was harder, though he was a sweet, easy baby, just because we were out of practice. When he was 18 months, I remember feeling like we'd turned a corner. Then, I was shockingly pregnant again, and incredulous. We still cannot explain how impossible this was medically and physically and yet, God had put that baby there! The up and down roller coaster of pregnancy with Owen, fear he was not going to make it early on, then his crazy long gestation, made it such an adventure. (All of these stories have been well-documented on this blog and the individual baby blogs for Elijah and Owen linked on the right, if you would like to read more!)

I have pondered all of this history and all I can say is that God's plan was so much better than ours. Waiting on our children hurt so deeply at the time, and that pain is obviously just below the surface still. It sounds silly to be crying over my struggle getting pregnant way back when, especially since I now am a mama to four children. I just know that He uses even that pain to help me be more sympathetic to others, and sharing our story yesterday just further pointed to Him - His great love, His sovereignty (even over endometriosis and an ovary removal), His grace showered on us, and I am so grateful. A class member messaged today to share how our story helped her in her own journey, and that sure made me glad we had been vulnerable, even when it felt awkward and embarrassing.

Above all, I needed the reminder and am so very grateful that joy comes in the morning.

Photos of the Week

Isaac doesn't love reading and struggles with finding anything worth the effort. So, you can imagine my delight when I found him asleep with a book two nights in a row. Thank you, Star Wars! So, maybe it's not C.S. Lewis, but hey - I'll take what I can get. :-)










Abigail asked two years ago for a dog. We told her she'd need to wait till she was a little older and more mature. We told her last fall that when we found out the new baby was to be a girl, she could have a female dog by her birthday. Her birthday is next weekend, and we've been searching the rescue groups and shelters for one that she'd love. It's been a journey, and she has surprised us by her discernment, maturity, and desire to get the best dog for our family, not just the first cute one she saw. Here's her choice. She'll join our family next week.

I'm very thankful for these big kids and their growth and unique gifts. I'm so proud to be their mom.

Isaac is a Webelo 2!

Last week we celebrated at the Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet, which is an honors and awards night for the Cub Scouts of all ages. Isaac received many awards including belt loops, pins, and badges. His greatest award was becoming a Webelo 2! This is a huge accomplishment and the result of a lot of hard work by Isaac and James. James is his den leader again, and they've met many requirements and learned a lot to earn his Webelos badge. If he continues to do well, this time next year, he'll be a Boy Scout. We are so proud of our oldest son, and the way he continues to mature and grow in every area. God has blessed us so much through Isaac. Way to go buddy!

Isaac10

Just about a year ago, we were dealing with this:























God, in His great mercy, gave us a great year of healing, and many reasons to celebrate Isaac10 this month. Here are a few glimpses of how far our boy has come from another club foot surgery, and eight LONG weeks in casts, this time last year. Thank you, Lord!!

At least he's proportional

Tuesday was Elijah's 6 month check-up. He did great. He is quite possibly the most amazingly sweet baby ever. Well, no - actually he IS the most amazingly sweet baby ever, and charmed everyone who saw us.

The facts: He weighed just over 20 pounds, and measured 28" long. Can you say 97th percentile? No wonder my back gets tired of carrying him!

His head is in the 75th though, so at least he doesn't take after his sister, who was sent for a CT scan at this age, because her head circumference had increased so much the doctor thought she may have a brain tumor. No, I'm not joking. Thankfully, she was diagnosed only with genetic maximus cranium. The neurologist really said that. I replied, "Are you saying she just has a big head?!" He replied with a grin, "Yes, and it's a hereditary condition." (Have you ever?!)

Elijah is really so solid and snuggly and cute. He grinned a lot, and charmed the doctor's socks off with his awesome baby skills: removed her stethoscope, grabbed at the light on the otoscope, and touched her face. The pediatrician (not our usual one) loved on him, and just held him for a minute, complimenting his sweet chubbiness. She has great taste, and you know, she should be an expert since she sees lots of babies. :-)

The funny physical comparisons between my boys (which parents should never do, yet do often in spite of themselves) don't really matter, but are interesting. They are equally loved, and adored, and it's fun to celebrate the differences. God isn't boring with His creation, ever, is He?

At 6 months---

Isaac:
10 pounds, 1.5 oz.
22 1/4" long
tiny and slender
blond hair/blue eyes

Elijah:
20 pounds, 1 oz.
28" long
thick and juicy
brown hair/brown

The paradox which is Isaac

My silly boy always keeps me guessing. This past Tuesday was the cast removal. To hear James tell it, and I doubt he was exaggerating, Isaac screamed the entire time as if he was having a limb removed, instead of just the cast. I've witnessed the same behavior before, over other things that really frightened him, so am not surprised, and just hate that he is that afraid of the process. That evening, he was even nervous to the point of crying about getting the boot off so he could take a bath. However, after the bath, he put the sock and boot back on, with no drama, just being very careful to avoid his toes. He did all right Wednesday, getting around at VBS with the boot, and rarely complained, though he hopped a good bit, and didn't want to put any weight on that foot. Then, Thursday he seemed all right overall, but still didn't want us near his toes. After VBS, we decided to go to the Y pool and he removed his boot himself, before leaving the house, and did it with relatively little complaining or worrying about pain. We went to the pool (his first time since last year) and though he's typically hesitant about the water, he got in to the baby pool with Elijah quickly, and did great even with his sensitive sore foot/leg. That is a huge milestone. We've always said how Isaac just takes a while to warm up to things, and once he does, he's usually o.k. It didn't take him long at all this time though, to get warmed up to the pool, and he played around in the shallow end independently for almost the whole time.

When we returned home, he asked if he could ride his bike. I was surprised, and told him he'd need to wear the boot to support his leg, and he said he'd put it on. Then, I tried to encourage him to not push it, and take things slowly, because the muscles in his left leg were really weak. He got ready, asked me to hold the bike steady, and then sat on it. His first words were, "Aahhhh. That's more like it." He took off down the driveway, like he hadn't been off the bike for 8 weeks. Here's Elijah watching his big brother go! As I realized Isaac was really going to ride for a little bit, I got his helmet for him, and he rode up and down our street numerous times. I was so proud and excited for him, and shook my head in amazement. I know Granddaddy and Uncle Jacob, the cyclists in the family, are so happy that he's already comfortable again on wheels.Of course, later that night, he was really tired, and cried when we had to bathe and clean those stinky toes, but we're making progress. How he can push and demonstrate such strength of will and tolerance to pain at times, and then freak out over his toes being touched is so confusing to me. I'm just glad that he's getting more used to moving and resuming normal activities. God is awesome to give us that hope tonight, that it won't be long till he's back to his old self in all areas!

Hallelujah! Free at last!

The cast is off. The longest 8 weeks of our lives is over.

Praise the Lord for a good report from the doctor. Isaac is in a Wee Walker boot to support his leg right now, and we're going back in a month or so, to see how he is doing with the boot, to see if he is walking fine. How well he's getting around by then will determine if he will have to keep wearing it a little longer or not from that point. Thankfully, he can at least remove it to do water activities.

Thank you for your prayers through this time of surgery and healing. We can't wait to hit the pool, ride bikes, run and climb, and bathe normally again!!

YEA!!! Summer, here we come!

The Evidence

Apparently, my little sweet-toothed son had a morning snack before I was awake. Smart Isaac remembered I'd made 2 cakes this weekend for the first time in ages, and I guess he assumed correctly there was some leftover buttercream. However, in his haste, he forgot to remove the telltale sign of his partaking of his little foray into the fridge. This morning I saw a little spoon in the bowl, and giggled at his lack of guile. He's so sneaky, isn't he? :-)

Quick trip, home improvement, and 3 days to go!

We again enjoyed the gorgeous Alabama Jubilee (hot-air balloon festival) in Decatur this weekend. Seeing dozens of balloons fill the sky is just an incredible sight. This year was extra fun because on Friday night, we were all able to take turns taking a short tethered ride in a balloon. We loved it, and then "our" balloon was the first one to take off Saturday morning. Mrs. Martha and Mr. Bill (my parents' friends who own the farm) were there with their daughter and her family. We've gotten to know each other through email and a couple of visits, so that was fun to be able to have some time together, for our husbands to talk, and the kids to play together. Gramma and Granddaddy were kind enough to let us spend the night with them, and so we had some quality time with them too. It was a nice break from being at home, as we have been so much of the last month.

An unexpected highlight of the day yesterday was visiting with some dear friends of Mom and Dad's in Decatur. Since moving to Decatur and joining First Bible Church, my Dad has been in a Bible study led by Mr. John Cook, the owner of Cook's Pest Control, a highly successful business in the South. Mr. Cook is 81 and in a very serious battle with cancer. During this past year, due to his health issues, he has asked my Dad to help lead their study, so this has enabled Dad to spend some neat time getting to know this precious man. We have been told that he probably doesn't have much time left on this earth, and it's been a very sad time, as he has become a mentor and father-figure to my Dad. James had never had the privilege of meeting him, since many times when we go to Decatur, it's because he is working extra hours. Anyway, we spent some time in the acres of gardens on the Cooks' property yesterday afternoon, and Mr. Cook surprised us and came out to visit for a while. It was precious time, spent with a godly man who is extremely successful by the world's standards, but so much more concerned about people's souls, than the millions of dollars his business makes. He and his wife give away so much and live modestly, and continually refer to missions opportunities and people they love in their conversation, not material things. I was so honored to have that memory with them, and we treasure their impact on my family's life through their kindness and influence on my parents.

James is off for a few days, so he has been able to provide some extra help with Isaac, and that's been wonderful! We have numerous projects we're trying to work on around the house these next few days. He just finished putting up an electric fence since goofy Sugar keeps digging out, and now is working on repairing a water leak near our meter. So, though it's not all fun and games, he's happy to be home, but he's not really getting to relax too much yet! I'm glad he was able to fish some yesterday, or he may be ready to head back to work to get a little rest! I'm so thankful for my handy husband.

Isaac's cast change is Wednesday, so we're really praying this is an improvement and that he'll get a walking cast then. He's doing all right today, but has had a hard week, just being frustrated and feeling cooped up. I hope I can give a great report Wednesday and appreciate your prayers for our family.

Answered Prayer?

Well, I asked you in my last post to pray that Isaac would be able to have his long cast removed and a short one put on his leg instead. God did answer our prayers, just with a "no" this time. I didn't handle that news too well, and was so disappointed yesterday. After a few crying spells and a total pity party yesterday, today I'm feeling much more like myself. To his credit, Isaac accepted the news with not one complaint. I could take a lesson in patience from him at times. I am sure that he'll have moments of frustration at his limitations in the coming days, as we've dealt with over these past few weeks, but his attitude has been great overall since yesterday's time in the OR. My sweet friend who said, "Well, it's just two more weeks," may have gotten her head bitten off when I responded, "No, it's not! It's FIVE total weeks of not walking, or bike riding, or swimming, or playing outside!" I have since apologized and calmed down, and gained a little perspective, thankfully. My sweet mom and husband bore the brunt of my emotional upheaval yesterday with godly, sympathetic hearts, and just let me be disappointed. They didn't tell me to get over it, or try to fix things, or even compare our situation to those much less fortunate. They just loved me and listened. Isn't that a gift? They must've been hoping I would be able to get a grip eventually, and plenty of you were praying for us, because by the evening, I was so much more rational and accepting. I know that God is allowing this healing to take a while for a reason, that he is working in all of our lives through the inconvenience and pain and difficulty, and that we probably don't see all that right now. I trust Him though. He knows that right now, when James is training in a different position at work, and gone for 14 hours a day, that I'm more tired than normal, more lonely without my best friend around, and that I'm having to lean on Him even more. That may be the point exactly. *sigh* Like Amy says, I better learn the lesson now, so I don't have to be taught it again and again.

In 2 weeks, we'll go back, to Dr. K's office this time instead of the hospital, and Isaac will be put in a short cast or a temporary walking shoe to protect and support his leg as it completely heals. We're looking forward to the day, and are already making plans to make the best of these next couple of weeks. And, I'm going to try to learn my lesson and not waiver, even when I'm tired. I've got (at least) 3 people watching everything I do and noticing every reaction. I have too many blessings and miracles surrounding me to be focused on the one thing that is difficult in my life. And, like Isaac said at 5:30 this morning, "That's a beautiful sunshine outside today." :-)

Healing: An update on Isaac

Many of you are so kind to ask how we're doing, and to let us know you are praying for us. I appreciate that so much. Here's an attempt to update you. It may sound whiny, and I hope not. I'm just wanting to be honest, and it's been a tiring time, but we're still very thankful for all the great things that we've learned and experienced throughout this time. We've been persevering through this healing time for Isaac, as he recovers from surgery, and let me just say, we are looking forward to being back with the land of the 2 legged. I'll never take for granted the insanity of taking 3 able-bodied children to run errands again, even as hard as it can be when they are so active.

Surgeries and healing really affect the whole family, and we've just been out of sorts for a long time now. Elijah has probably weathered it all better than the rest of us. Our tempers are shorter, our energy dwindling, and our patience nearly exhausted. Isaac and Abigail's sleep seems to be where they've shown the impact of the stress on the family, and so that causes the cycle to continue - less sleep, and poor quality rest, just don't help attitudes and energy improve. And, of course when they're awake numerous times at night, so are Mama and/or Daddy.
What we've dealt with is really nothing compared to so many who struggle with chronic illness and treatments, yet it's been a long 3 weeks for our family. I'm just tired, deep in my bones. It's difficult to be stuck in a long, heavy cast when one is an active 9 year old boy who loves riding bikes and playing outdoors, and it's been hard on James and me, carrying him from place to place, or hauling out the wheelchair and pushing him in that, along with carrying a hefty nearly 5 month old. There's no real way we could've prepared for someone who has been previously very independent becoming extremely limited in movement and not too happy about it. He has overall made the best of the situation, but he is pretty tired of the whole thing. We can't wait till the cast change operation on Friday. We are praying for a short cast and for a short amount of time required in it. Please pray with us about that!

This poor long cast has been dragged so much, it's starting to crack and chip off on the toe end. Today Abi said, "Dr. Killian is going to freak when he sees this cast!" He just might do it. Oh well - he can come and stay with us then, and tell Isaac to just not move on his own for 21 days! Isaac has mastered hopping so well on his right leg that he could probably beat me in a race, while I ran with my 2 good legs! Tonight though, he did say, "I am tired of this hopping." I concur.

We've been so fortunate to have our faith family bring us meals for most of the nights since we came home from the hospital. These meals have saved my sanity. I don't think I can even say how much help they've been. It's more than just not having to cook. It's relaxing and eating together as a family, without having to find the energy to shop, plan, and prepare while tending to the needs of 3 children, and without wiping the sweat off of my forehead from frantically throwing a meal together. It's comforting to be so loved and cared for by friends, and it's heart-warming that others with busy lives made time to serve my family. It is overwhelming that my sweet friend organized all these, while nearly 9 months pregnant herself, and made sure our family was taken care of in a practical way.

We've also had folks bring goodie bags to Isaac, movies checked out from the library and delivered to us, a portable DVD player loaned so Isaac didn't have to be carried back to our TV room, prayers said aloud in our presence to uplift us, cards mailed to encourage us, a couple of short playdates, and friends have called to check in while running errands, just to see if they could pick up anything from the store for us. I think God has been so honored by these kind souls who have truly served our family and showed Christ's love during this time of healing and waiting for our family. He is faithful and has provided every need for us, and even some bonus treats to help pass the time. We're very grateful.

Surgery update for Isaac

Thanks to those of you who have prayed for Isaac's latest club foot surgery. It's been a busy few days, but we're doing pretty well at home, and recovering. He is such a trooper. Despite the pain he should feel from having a wedge of bone removed from his tibia, and pins inserted, and a staple in his big toe, he sure acts like he feels o.k.! He's hardly taken any pain medicine here at home, and we're having to nearly force Motrin in him. Here are photos of him pre-operation Thursday, and afterwards, as we stayed at Children's till Friday evening. We had wonderful nurses, and great visits from friends and family, which made the two days more bearable. Elijah was also a great comfort for his big brother, as you'll see from the pictures.

We're glad to be home, and are adjusting to caring for him, and trying to keep him from hopping on one foot too much. We'll go back next month for a cast change, so please keep us in your prayers for that next step (ha ha, 'step' - get it?). Here's a video of the last time (hopefully) Isaac walked on his tiptoes. James was smart enough to think of that as we entered the hospital. I'll kinda miss that walk, but am sure glad it won't ever slow him down again. We're so grateful to have incredible doctors and a wonderful hospital so close by. God is good.

Isaac9

Last Tuesday, my eldest child turned 9 years old. He hasn't let us forget it either, since we've heard a few times, "Hey, you know what? I'm 9 now." The title from this post comes from a cute thing Isaac started when he was 7, as he signed everything that year (notes, schoolwork, logins on computer games) as Isaac7. Then, it progressed to Isaac8 last year, and he immediately made the upgrade this past week to Isaac9. It makes me giggle. And, I guess that is how it should be with a child whose very name means "laughter." The son I didn't give birth to, but who made me a mama, sure has brought a lot of joy to our lives. I think that sometimes it's incredible how I love him so much and forget he doesn't contain one shred of my DNA - so much so, that we have at times made comments about quirks or personality traits, saying, "Well, he must get that from you." Then, we chuckle at how we don't know where he gets anything from that's like us, but because God is just cool like that, He makes similarities, habits, likes, and dislikes remind us of ourselves. We even hear how much he physically takes after us at times. None of that really matters, but it sure is sweet to hear. They're just bonuses, we say.

We tried hard to make this past week a happy one, full of fun memories for Isaac. It being his birthday week was only part of the reason. The other part is that this Thursday he'll have yet another surgery to help correct the ever-frustrating club feet that his particular set of genes have determined as his lifelong (so far) struggle. We'll be at Children's for a few days, in the care of our very capable Dr. K, the orthopedic surgeon who knew Isaac even before we did. This surgery will be nothing compared to the last one, which was nightmare-ish in its severity. Only his left leg will be operated on, right at the ankle area, as Dr. K will remove a section of bone in a wedge shape, so that his foot will finally rest flat. Because of the nature of a club foot defect, the body continually wants to revert back to its original form, even if it is incorrect, so his left foot is the stinker, and has always been the one to turn in the most. Now bone has fused together where it should be a flexible joint, so that will have to be undone, with this section removed and pins placed in to keep it at the right angle. He has no range of motion in that ankle joint currently, so it will be a great thing to see him eventually walk normally, not on his tiptoes, and to run without that left foot causing him to occasionally trip and stumble because "it's not working right," as Isaac says.

I could get emotional and worried, I guess, over seeing him go under anesthesia again, facing more pain, and dread the weeks in casts where he'll be pretty limited in activity. But, I'm actually looking forward to the end result enough that I'm ready to get moving on this next phase of his life. He is too. It's so cool to hear him calmly ask questions, admit his nervousness, but say he "want(s) it to just be better." What a brave, precious boy he is. As much as I've hated it for them, it's been helpful to us to have Graced's family walk through a similar pain/healing time too, with their son, so we've had some good conversation about how both boys are facing some physical trials, but how God knows and is able to meet our needs. What good reminders for these adults too.

Anyway, I'll update later in the week on his progress, but we do appreciate your prayers for the surgeon and our family as we'll all be kind of crazy for a few days. It's James' work week, so I'll be in the hospital with both boys, James will check in on us when he can, and my parents will take Abigail home with them till we are ready to all head back home.

We went bowling on the 15th, Isaac's actual birthday, with my family, and that was hilarious. Next time, a few of us adults may bowl on the kids' lane with the bumpers! We had a yummy dinner at Macaroni Grill and it was a really enjoyable day. Then, on Saturday, we had dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant with family and friends, and then went to play at a local park and have dessert. It was a gorgeous day, and was extra fun to watch the kids run and play, knowing that activity will be limited for our son for a while. He thoroughly enjoyed himself and we were touched by all the sweet folks who shared the evening with us and are very special to our family. The highlight of the party was when we brought out a toy that Jacob and I had enjoyed many years ago, and James just found in our attic. Let me just say, the little General Lee has even more power than I remember. We all agreed toys aren't made nearly as well anymore!

Thank you Lord, for Isaac9!

Basketball season is here!

Today was the first game for Isaac's Upward basketball league at a local church. This year, his team is the Tigers, and he's been eager for them to start playing. Two of the three scheduled practices had to be canceled due to bad weather, so we weren't expecting any great coordinated effort by the kids, to say the least. However, we were pleasantly surprised at their decent playing, and overall awesome effort and attitudes. It was great fun cheering him on, and we even had our own self-proclaimed mascot too! Yep, Abigail decided as soon as she knew the team's name a few weeks ago that she'd be their mascot, and wear a costume her friend Laney had passed down to her.

So, there we were today, with my parents, waiting on the players to be announced as they enter the gym, and as Coach J.J. ran onto the court, right beside him was Abigail, jumping and cheering all the way, in her little tiger outfit! I would've gotten a picture, but I was too busy laughing like a maniac! It was so funny and cute, and she was so proud of herself. I think we'd kinda figured she'd back out at the last minute, or just walk out behind the players, not bringing too much attention to herself. We guessed wrongly. :-) Then, Isaac came out, thrilled as could be and eager to play. She cheered off and on for the whole game, and it meant so much to Isaac that she was that enthusiastic. (He assumes it's purely her devotion to him that is motivating her, instead of a desire to be in the spotlight!) He played well, listening to instruction, and hustling the entire time. We were very pleased that both had such a great time and are thankful for such an environment for them to play and learn the sport without too much stress or competition.

Here are a few photos of Isaac and his team, and you may see a glimpse of his #1 cheerleader too. (It wasn't snowing in the gym. Apparently my laughter caused me to spit all over the lens or something...sorry!) Both of the kids got a blue star, for great effort, and were so pleased. Elijah's contribution was to sleep through most of it, snuggled on Gramma, and to look cute while doing so. He was successful as well. What a fun day!!

Cub Scouts Pack Celebration

Well, we have officially joined the Cub Scouting world. Tonight was the pack celebration, and though James was feeling like death warmed over from a flu shot he had at work this week, since he's a den leader, we pretty much had to go. I'm so thankful we did. One of the main reasons we joined Cub Scouts this year, beyond the fact that James loved scouts as a boy, and knew lots about the skills and values it teaches, was to give Isaac and James something special to share, without a certain little sister always being involved. Isaac doesn't complain really about Abigail's constant presence, but now that he's getting older, it is something we realize does matter - he needs an identity outside of being her big brother, and due to her extremely social personality, sometimes that doesn't always happen. He is an introvert, and that's o.k., but he also chooses to let her monopolize conversations and events at times, since it's just easier than competing. James and I have noticed more and more how he responds when she's around, and how different he is when she's not, and we know he needs to develop more confidence. So far, we are very excited at his eagerness to participate in Cub Scouts, and being part of the Wolf Den 8 tonight at the ceremony was really a very special event. He received his neckerchief and slide, which is part of advancement and acceptance into the Wolf Pack, and it's a big deal...I'm not too up on my scouting info, and am amazed at how seriously these families take advancement and awards - in a good way. There was such a lot of applause and cheering and all around fun to honor these boys and it really was heartwarming. Isaac would be happy in the background in a crowd, almost all the time, and so when he stood up with his pack to receive his neckerchief, and was so proud, I just almost cried. It was an awesome moment. He wanted pictures taken when we got home, and you'll see from the slides, he wasn't satisfied till we had an all-out photo shoot, even getting Mom and Abi involved.

I can't explain how happy it makes us to see him glowing with satisfaction, and to gladly wear his uniform. I'm also glad James is willing and eager to share this experience with him, and know it means a great deal to Isaac to be able to brag, "My DAD is my leader!!" By the way, James' fever broke during the meeting, and he feels a ton better now, so thanks to those of you who were praying!!

What a fast 8 years!

Continuing the "Week of Isaac"

We've been living it up since last Friday, in honor of Isaac's birthday. Chuck E. Cheese was his party spot of choice, so we invited Graced and her 2 kids to join us, and had a fun time wasting quarters for a couple of hours. Then, it was off to eat "tacos and beans" at a local Mexican restaurant. Saturday was the family get-together, where Isaac racked up on cool toys, clothes, and gift cards. His actual birthday was Sunday, and after church we visited my Mamaw and aunt, where he received more goodies. On Monday we went on the hunt for the elusive 18" bike. Let me just tell you, if you need one in that particular size for a boy (there are plenty in the Barbie genre), go to Toys R Us, and save yourself the 4 stops we made prior to finding "the one".

Here are some fun photos from the activities of the last few days.

How I love Isaac

I love your infectious giggle. I loved watching you learn to walk, then run, then hop on one foot, then ride a bike. I love that you made me a mama. I love your determination to learn new things. I love that we named you and your name fits you perfectly. I love your hugs. I love seeing Daddy play with you. I love watching you as a great big brother to Abigail. I love how you are crazy about animals, especially when you say that our rabbits are silly, or Sugar is sad, or the skink is happy to see us. I love your sapphire blue eyes. I love your passion for music. I love your contentment at just being home with our family. I love your jokes that make no sense. I love your good manners. I love your enthusiasm for life. I love that you're so happy outdoors. I love it when people say you look like me. I love it when you say you miss Gramma and Granddaddy, because they're so important in your life. I love it when you pray for us to have a farm someday. I love that you watch birds out of your window and know their names. I love that you sleep so peacefully. I love your snaggle tooth smile. I love that you love chocolate and coffee, like me. I love that your heart is so tender toward the downcast, elderly, or physically challenged. I love that you love Auburn football so much. I love that you never fail to see an emergency vehicle's lights. I love that you can eat more than me. I love it that you're so neat. I love seeing you snuggle with Gramma, or ask Granddaddy to rub your back. I love your long legs and sweet feet. I love watching you fish with Daddy. I love when you say, "Abi makes me laugh!" I love that you've pulled 8 teeth, all by yourself. I love it when you say I'm silly for being sad that you're growing up. I love how you take care of younger friends. I love you for knowing how to play hard. I love how you want to be a soldier. I love that every day you say, "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" I love that God thought we were worthy of you. I love that I cry because I love you so much. I love you how you say, "No, I love YOU more!"

Isaac is 8!

When I wrote back in the first days of my blog about having 2 miracle children, I wasn't kidding. I'll share the story of one of them today, on his birthday.

On April 15, 1999, a baby boy was born to a young woman who had been through some difficult circumstances in her life. Since her baby was born at 29 weeks gestation, at 2 lbs., 14 ozs., he was admitted immediately to the neonatal intensive care. Amazingly, he was strong for his size, only needing oxygen for 8 days, and besides having clubfeet, was mostly healthy overall. After 10 weeks in the NICU, he was released to my parents (at a whopping 4 lbs., 10 oz.), in the custody of DHR. My mom took him to regular orthopedic appointments as his feet were prepared for surgery through many sets of casts and splints, as well as other check ups to make sure his vision and weight were normal for him. That first year was an amazing experience, as we all got to know this little bundle of joy. When he reached any milestone, we celebrated that he was surpassing any expectations the doctors had for him. Throughout that time, there were visits with his birth mom and family members, but they became less regular, and it become apparent that things may not be progressing so that he could go home to them. Around the time of his first birthday, and another surgery, his birth mom told my mother that she wanted our family to "have him," knowing that DHR was not keen on giving her custody, and figuring she had enough other issues to deal with, that it would just be the best thing. The baby wasn't attached to her, and had never been in that home environment, so she figured it would just be best to give in and make it easier on everyone. This wasn't expected necessarily, especially since my parents' goal had been to temporarily help children - not adopt and start raising more kids. However, when Mom shared the conversation with James and me, it was obvious this baby couldn't just leave our family, to go to some other adoptive family. We loved him and wanted him to be part of our lives permanently, and James rather quickly said that we would pursue adoption. We hadn't really even discussed it before that point, but it was so clear that it was the right thing to do that we were totally peaceful about it.

Within weeks we were setting up training to be foster parents ourselves, so we could transition him into our custody while working on the adoption. DHR was very accommodating during the process and it went by very quickly. At the end of the summer, his birth mom's rights were terminated, we had a room ready, a couple of baby showers, and transitioned Isaac to our home by having him spend a night or two at a time, until gradually he was with us more than with my parents. He slept through the night the first night here, and never seemed to feel that things were any different. He'd gotten very comfortable with us, since we spent lots of time visiting in Mom and Dad's home, going on vacations with them, and I had tried to make it to as many dr. appts. as possible too.

The entire adoption process did drag on for a while, actually not being completed till over a full year later. Within the same week though, on October 22, 2001, we became legal parents to Isaac Michael Vines, and found out we were expecting another baby in the summer! It was a big week! :-)

Isaac has truly lived up to his name, as a source of joy and laughter in our lives. He has overcome many obstacles in his life, and is a courageous, tenacious, loving, and lively boy. I can't imagine life without him and am so honored that God chose our family to go down a path we hadn't necessarily imagined.

I'll post some pictures later. Happy Birthday buddy! We love you so much!