Friendship, gratitude, and hope

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17

Friendship is a multi-faceted thing. I have lots of friends and am grateful for how God weaves people into the fabric of my daily life. Some are sort of like main characters in the drama and comedy that is my current life: wife/motherhood, homeschooling, Christian living.... Then there are others who have guest appearances for a time, and then our paths become divergent for a while. We reconnect, and maintain a casual relationship, but they are not folks I talk to daily. We all have those lifelong friends who have been through so many ups and downs with us, that we will always remain close, despite some breaks in frequent communication. Some of those lifelong friends have been friends for over 20 years, and some are more recently gained. I'm amazed at how I think that I have such a full heart, blessed with sisters, not of blood, but of tears, laughter, common focus, and then God brings another precious friend into my life. It's a blessing to learn and grow from them.

This post is about one of those friends that I didn't go looking for, but whom God placed in my life to challenge and stretch me in great ways. The fact that our common bond was initially forged through homeschooling and parenting wasn't even that apparent. We weren't close friends though we traveled in the same circles, lived in the same little town, and our kids belonged to the same sports team and school groups. We knew of each other, had emailed some, and smiled and nodded when we crossed paths. I knew of her reputation as a mom and someone who was involved in her family's life to a wonderful extent - her priorities were her family and God.

The way we became friends was through loss. Our friendship's foundation is built on grief. That's a hard way to learn the ins and outs of a person, when they're most vulnerable, and could be so fragile emotionally. It's also a way to grow to deeply love a person, when you share their great heartache and see them emerge through the darkest days, determined to be stronger, to fight through the pain, and to live, even when it would seem easier to just give up on life. Friendships typically are a blend of giving and taking, and sharing the burdens and the joys. When grief is involved, you can't go into a relationship expecting anything of the other person, but must be willing to only give. What I found though, was that my friend still gave, even when she was heartbroken and in gut-wrenching pain. She responded kindly, encouraging me, and was always patient with my questions, and my awkward stumbling through conversations as I tried to not hurt her when we talked. Gradually, I shared more, and she answered my wonderings about many subjects with her opinions or experiences, and we had more and more moments of laughter and normalcy. 

Today, I can't imagine not having this friend as a confidante and example to follow. She has given great amounts of time to my own working through grief, and never says she can't listen, or it's too hard on her. She continually points to God as her source of strength through the years since she lost her daughter, and hers isn't a newfound faith. Her dependence was on Christ before Abigail was killed, and has only grown greater since that day. Her testimony is powerful and she is determined to give Him the glory for any good that has come out of their family's tragedy.

Thank you Brandy, for being my friend, and for being a shining light of Hope, that honors our Lord, and your sweet girl.

This says it perfectly.

God's heart

Just jotting down thoughts I read and studied through recently. Another family we know has lost a precious young child. So much grief in this world, and pain that I wish I could erase. A friend sent me the video to this song a while back, and I had to add those lyrics here - another reminder of the hope we have in Him. I hope something in here may touch and encourage any of you that may be hurting today.

Steven Curtis Chapman
Remembering You

I found You in the most unlikely way
But really it was You who found me
And I found myself in the gifts that You gave
You gave me so much and I

I wish You could stay
but I'll, I'll wait for the day

Chorus
And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring
And I'll be remembering You
Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing
and I'll be remembering You, I'll be remembering You

From the first moment when I heard Your name
Something in my heart came alive
You showed me love and no words could explain
A love with the power to
Open the door
To a world I was made for

Chorus
And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring
And I'll be remembering You
Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing
and I'll be remembering You, I'll be remembering You

The dark night, the hard fight
The long climb up the hill knowing the cost
The brave death, the last breathe
The silence whispering all hope was lost
The thunder, the wonder
A power that brings the dead back to life

I wish You could stay
But I'll wait for the day
And though You've gone away
You come back and

Chorus
And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring
And I'll be remembering You
Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing
and I'll be remembering You, I'll be remembering You

And I'll watch as the sun fills a sky that was dark
And I'll be remembering You
And I'll think of the way that You fill up my heart
And I'll be remembering You

I'll be remembering You

25 years ago...

the world lost a modern day John the Baptist. With a hippie, New Age, California background, he was a passionate seeker for truth, who finally found Christ as a young adult. It changed his life and he radically lived his final years trying to do as much as possible for the kingdom. Keith Green was confrontational and controversial, but above all, loved God and wanted others to find the joy and freedom he finally had after years of searching.

When he died suddenly at the age of 28 with his 2 young children and 9 other passengers in a plane crash, I remember being stunned. I was 9 years old, but already deeply in love with music, especially the early contemporary Christian music always on our radio at home. Keith's piano playing had my attention as soon as I'd heard it, and I knew lyrics by heart. When the DJ announced the crash that day, I felt incredible sorrow. No more amazing, piano pounding, convicting songs from this gifted man. Thankfully, we were left a legacy of music from him, that I continue to listen to and play on my own piano to this day.
The timing of this anniversary of Keith's death was especially neat, since this Sunday, our life group at church talked about Enoch, how he was a man "who walked with God", and then "was no more". We pondered what that meant, how he walked with God, and why God took him home. Our discussion led us to bring up other folks like Elijah, and then our own modern day Elijah, Rich Mullins. They all had something in common, from what we do know about their lives - they weren't perfect, but they were passionate about their Creator. I think Keith fits that description too. I even commented in class about the quote I mentioned on here a while back and what I'd pondered at that time. These men were sold out, completely devoted to living for God. Maybe their purity of heart, and focus, caused God to not want to wait to spend every day with them in heaven so he took them home early.

This quote by Keith sums up his motto, "No Compromise."
"No Compromise is what the whole Gospel of Jesus is all about... 'For I tell you...no man can serve two masters...' (Matt. 6:24). In a day when believers seem to be trying to please both the world and the Lord (which is an impossible thing), when people are far more concerned about offending their friends than offending God, there is only one answer...Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Him!" — Keith Green, No Compromise album, 1978

If that's not purity of heart, and the right kind of single minded focus, I'm not sure what is. I think these men really got it - Enoch's walking with God, Elijah's prophesying while Jezebel hunted him, Rich's ministering to children on an Indian reservation, Keith's giving albums away instead of selling them - they all focused on God and people first, instead of themselves. Their lives were full of sacrifice and service. The earthly outcome? Enoch was "no more" and "was taken away," Elijah was carried off by a chariot of fire, Rich died when his Jeep wrecked, and Keith lost his life when the Cessna crashed. The good news - they all went home to Jesus.

If you're not familiar with the music of Keith Green, there are a few songs on the player here on my blog. Check them out, and see if they convict and stir you, like they do me.