Our beautiful boy turns 14

Isaac turned 14 this month. It has been a month of busyness, but he deserves his own blog post for such a milestone, so I am sitting down determined to get it documented.

We have fought hard through our relationship this year, my oldest and me. There is a whole lot that is his story to tell, but I will at least sum it with saying that being a teenager is hard, no matter who you are. If you add in some learning struggles, being the oldest in a family of people with very different personalities than yourself, and also the adoption and attachment factor, life can be a doozy. The past few years have been HARD. This past year has been painful at times, beyond my imagination and anything I could have prepared for. At times, we have not liked each other much, and we have struggled to live peaceably in our home. Hurt and fear and resentment from deep within Isaac have been directed toward me, even though afterward he'd say that things were not my fault and he really didn't mean them. It still hurt, though. Forgiveness and grace have been words and actions we have had to both employ to get through such hurdles. Not knowing how to communicate how he's felt, or even what he has felt, has frustrated him to no end. Counselors have helped us work through a lot of stuff, and we are seeing more and more hope, and glimpses of true relationship; real communication, voluntary hugs, spontaneous "I love you, Mom."  I cannot explain the depth of feeling that wells up within me when those moments occur. They keep me going and give me strength that we are fighting this monster of discouragement and anxiety back again, with true Love and Hope in Christ as our weapons. Unconditional love - such a gift.

So, this birthday meant more than just another year older. It meant not only did we survive, we have made progress, and we can rejoice that we were all together, as a family working on being better together. We are grateful for Isaac's life, and for his birthmom who had courage to do the right, hard thing when she relinquished her rights to mother him. I am forever grateful. I'm more grateful that God chose me to mother him, and how He forgives me when I fail miserably, and how Isaac does the same - a gift of forgiveness.

To the fellow adoptive parents I text late at night, my parents who know all the good and bad and still cheer us on, the counselors who offer wisdom and also compassion - how could we have made it without you? You have given us courage to see each day as full of new mercies, because you remind us so. Another gift...

A public school teacher who educates him and gives me great feedback on his behavior and progress at school, so I can focus on being a mom right now has blessed us so much. A bus driver who has been an encourager, a listening ear, and another set of eyes to watch over our son daily - both unexpected gifts to bring peace and comfort to Isaac and us.

We have youth workers and ministers at church and other adults in our lives who have taken Isaac on as their buddy, who have poured into him and loved him where he is. That is a kind of patience that ministers to him of course, but you have no idea what it means to us as his parents. Thank you for the gift of your patience.

This song is one of those I listened to and sang a lot to him as I snuggled him to sleep when he was first transitioning to our home. The words still bring me to tears every single time I hear them. They sum up this precious gift we've been given, and how grateful I am to be able to be the mom to such a son. They fit our lives then, and still do now. We are getting better, but it is such hard work. However, even as he ages and has to separate from us some, we are learning together. So grateful.

Close your eyes
Have no fear
The monster's gone
He's on the run and your daddy's here

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better

Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
'Cause it's a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

--John Lennon

getting to know you

first night at our house

adoption celebration photo

joy

 

family of 4

brotherly love

growing up

sweet snaggle tooth

wonderful special olympics day

14!

10 year old turtle

family party

Blessings from the week

I love being a mom and staying home with my children. Like a dear friend says, it's the simple things that make life so sweet. I agree. Here are a few simple, happy memories from this past week:

Abigail picked these tiny blooms for me - pansies, grape hyacinths, snowbells, candy tuft. She's a girl after my own heart, with her love for flowers and the outdoors. She knows the names of nearly every flower in our yard and I just love that about her.

Elijah tried out the jumping seat thingy - it was entertaining for a few minutes, till he collapsed. Don't worry - I didn't leave him there long at all. It was too cute to not capture on film/digital though. Those chubby legs just make me giggle.


















Then, there's another cute moment where he was resting on the boppy, gnawing on his fist, and then fell asleep again. He actually does do things beside sleep. You know, like eat. And poop. And, sleep some more.
Isaac and Abigail asked to read in their treehouse Thursday, but wanted me to fashion a makeshift cover for the tarp that was ripped off in a recent storm, hence the old Veggie Tales fabric. Glad it's subtle and not too obnoxious. Sheesh. They had a snack and read books for a while. Sweet kiddos.

Growing boys!

Today we had a pediatrician visit for both our boys. We had some questions about both, and a general physical for Isaac too. Elijah did great with his little exam and weighed in at 11 pounds, 2 ounces, so is thriving. He is so cute and chubby, and in the 98th percentile for weight and length. YEA! We also had a question about E's tongue, since I recently noticed it looked cute, but maybe a little different, and then Graced noticed it this week too. It is actually attached a little more than it should be in front, but Dr. G is laidback enough and said obviously it's not affecting his eating, so there's no need to worry about it. It won't affect speech, and we'll just see later on if there's a need to snip that tiny bit of skin.

Isaac has gained 10 pounds in less than a year, and for his very small start in life, at age 8 1/2, he's finally doing some catching up, since the ideal weight gain for most kids his age is quite a bit less than that. He's really eating like a horse these days, and is nearly the same height as many other friends who are his age, so we're glad about that too!

Abigail was glad to have no reason to really be checked out, and all in all, it was a nice, easy visit. We're so grateful for a great doctor who is patient and great with our kids.

Weird World of Nicknames

I was just pondering deep stuff tonight, like, how do we end up with nicknames that are so odd? We have the typical shortened forms of names, but then a couple of funny ones that may need explanation too. I thought I'd document them here for posterity.

Isaac Michael's names:
Ize - just shortened, first used by Abigail
Ize-aroni - silly, made up by James
Buddy - what I call him lots of the time
Scooter - what my Dad and I called him most of the time when he was a baby
Augustus - somehow James came up with this one day, probably after watching Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and it must be pronounced in a bad British accent
Prancing Pony - what James says would be Isaac's Native American name, due to his habit of walking on his tiptoes
I-Man - given by the announcer for basketball this year
Hardus Headus Maximus - from James, self-explanatory for our stubborn, or tenacious, boy

Abigail Rose's names:
Abi - her name shortened
Rosie - James' name for her
Abi-girl - my name for her, probably from the Anne of Green Gables "Anne girl" as Marilla called her
Abi Rose - my brother Jacob's name for Abigail
Baby - what I call her often
Snuggle bunny, snuggle bug - she is extremely cuddly, so these always apply
Penelope - used in conjunction with Isaac's "Augustus"
Nosey Rosie - unfortunately fits very well
Ol' sweetness - not sure how or where, but a name I have used since she was a baby
Ces couches (or a variation, ces coucheres) - this gem came from the French phrasing on a box of diapers that I noticed when she was tiny, and it cracked me up, so for some reason, I'd call her these names, complete in a Julia Child voice....yeah, I realize it makes no sense to call her "diapers"

Silly Girl Stories

My Abigail is quite a character. I have to share these great stories from this week, and they're too long to put under the Kid Quotes.
STORY #1
Here is our conversation from last night at bedtime:
Abi - Mom, can you sing a lullaby to us?
Me - Sure, which one?
Abi - Do you know any new ones, that are different maybe?
Me - Well, I don't know....
Abi - (quickly) I know! How 'bout That Kiss?
Me - (very puzzled) Ummmm, I don't think I know that one.
(I have to admit, at this point, I was thinking of the Prince song "Kiss" since it's on the Happy Feet soundtrack, and we just got that movie, but I didn't think she'd remember that, and I wasn't going to sing it!)
Abi - Yes, you do! It goes "That kiss...in a sycamore tree"...uh...you know?
Me - (trying not to fall apart laughing) Oh!! You mean, Zaccheus?! Yeah, I know that one. I didn't know it was a lullaby though.
STORY #2
We are very fortunate to have some friends at church who are like family to us. We often say that we are like sisters, and Abigail has picked up on that, claiming one of my friend's daughters as her pretend sister. Today, Abi went to Amy's house to play with her daughter and while there, had to use the restroom. Sweet Amy called, saying that Abi had pooped in the potty and needed to be wiped, but she was upstairs and Amy was downstairs with the baby, who had just gone to sleep on her, and she asked could Abigail clean her bottom herself. I said that was fine, but she may balk at being told that. Of course, she did, and so Amy had to wake the baby to go upstairs and handle everything. She did it lovingly and without complaining, but I felt awful. However, the best part was that when they brought Abi home, I asked her about it, and told her she could've just done it herself. She said, "Well, I wanted to wait on Mrs. Amy. I had to wait a LONG time too. But, it was o.k. Laney read to me the whole time I sat there." We adults could hardly regain composure, and Amy's quote afterwards was classic - "Greater love hath no man than this - that he would read to a friend in the bathroom while waiting on his friend's bottom to be wiped."

funny kid stories

A funny thing happened Tuesday. I was taping American Idol, which I always do, since I like to enjoy it commercial free, and fast forward through the commercials when we watch the taped episodes. Since TV plays a very small role in our lives, and we only have 3 channels, when we actually do watch, I do not want to waste time on commercials. It's also our only show to (occasionally) watch as a family, and the kids have seen a little of it this year and love the whole "I'm going to Hollywood" thing and crack us up with that phrase often when they're pretending things. Well, this Tuesday, I was taping it, and we were starting to get ready for bed, and Isaac snuck back in there and turned it on for a minute, just in time to see a girl get sent home. She was pitiful, crying and all, and he was so sad. I walked in and this is what followed:

Isaac - Ohhh, she's crying! Why is she sad? Then, like he figured it out - Oh, she didn't get a ticket.
Me - Well, she got a ticket but she didn't sing good enough, so she's going home.
Isaac - Does she live far away? Like out of state?
Me - I don't know. Probably.
Isaac, walking away- Probably going back to Alabaster...

This is extra funny if you could've heard his little wistful voice, and could see him shaking his head with regret for her. We always talk about "stinky Alabaster" (no offense to those of you who live in the 35007) because of the infamous smell that reeks from that town next to us. So, I guess he thinks bad smells and bad singers come from Alabaster. Kinda like "nothing good comes from Nazareth" or something. :-)

Today we received valentines from a friend and her kids - homemade nonetheless. They were so precious. Abigail was quite giddy when she got hers. She was so funny trying to get out how excited she was. We've never had a conversation on this subject in relation to HER, and it was very special. She ended up saying all this together, really fast -

Abi - Wow - they made us these? Oh look! It's my picture! Wow! Oh, E. is so sweet...I just love him. I think I'm going to marry him.
Me - Wow, you must think he's special, because marrying someone is a BIG deal.
Abi, very seriously - I know it.
Me - You know, you have to really pray about that, and be sure God is telling you the right person, and when you marry, you promise to stay with that person and love them forever.
Abi - Yeah, I know. Then, So, do you hear him out loud?
Me - Huh?
Abi - Did you hear God tell you to marry Daddy? Was it out loud, or in your heart?
Me - Well, it was mostly just a knowing, and a peaceful feeling, where I knew it was right.
Abi - Well, I feel peaceful right now. Like, my heart isn't beeping fast or anything.

I just loved that we talked about hearing God talk in relation to her getting married, though I then proceeded to encourage her to wait a little while on that decision. It's especially nice since his mom and I have both secretly joked about how we'd love to arrange a marriage between the 2 of them since they seem so perfectly made for each other. Maybe our plan will work out and we can act like we have nothing to do with it (picture Graced and I each rubbing our hands together deviously and grinning)! I guess it's never too early to explain the seriousness of choosing a partner to share your life with, and I hope we always communicate so easily about listening to God guide us!

Abi-girl, basketball player extraordinaire

Many of you know that Isaac and Abigail are playing Upward basketball at a local church now. He's had a few practices, and Abigail started today. James is her coach and it was an entertaining morning. We were a little concerned she'd be frustrated that the team's name was chosen for them, and it wasn't the ferocious "Wolves" or "Leopard Seals", as she'd hoped, but "Sparrows". Yep, I know - pretty disappointing. One of the other teams is the Geckos though, so it could be worse! We've drilled the positive points we know about sparrows into her head, so she's been o.k. with it. She's been so anxious to start practice and the day finally arrived! The Sparrows' practice was pretty fun. What they lack in skill, they make up for in cuteness. Abigail was like an asst. coach. I feel a little sorry for those 6 boys (the rest of the team) - she wasn't bossy, but really hilariously informative and positive. "And, did you know that sparrows are faster than crows?", "They're small birds, but very quick." "Yeah, that's good! Keep it up!" "Dad, you are a great coach!" and "Great shot!" (when 2 boys actually did make it to the hoop.) She acted much more like part of the staff than one of the youngest players. Oh, Isaac and I laughed hysterically at her, though we hid it well. I made him turn around backwards, because he kept cracking up she was so sweet and happy and would wink and give us thumbs up all the time. I wish I could've video-d her. It was like she's waited on this moment for her entire, long 4 1/2 year life. She has waited 2 years - since my Aunt Cindy gave her a little Auburn basketball uniform when she was 2, she has wanted to play the sport. She knows nothing about it, though we did get the kids a goal for Christmas. Isaac practices often, but Abi hasn't too much yet. The goal is a little high for her.
She is very motivated though, to practice with her team, and is so glad her Daddy is her coach.
Games start next Sat., and continue through Mar. 3 - all at 8 am. I know, lovely. Isaac will play after her next week, at 9:15, and I guess that may stay the same too. I'll let everyone know. You are certainly not obligated to come, but it will be some cheap entertainment, just a little early in the morning.
Assistant Coach Abigail - "Good Job!"