6 years ago...

...all of us probably remember where we were when we heard about the attack on the Twin Towers. I clearly remember it, and it holds even more significance to me because of where I was in my life at that moment in time. I look back with such gratitude for how God protected my family, how He challenged us as a nation, and how He's proved Himself faithful through the ups and downs our family and country have faced since. Today, I just had to reflect and pray out of a thankful heart for the lessons we learn the hard way, when I was pondering all this.

On that Tuesday morning, September 11, 2001, James and I got up around the same time to begin our day. He headed off to work, and I dressed and fed Isaac and myself, since I had a doctor's appointment that morning at the fertility clinic. My dearest friend, Robin, was going to keep Isaac while I went in for labs and we were a little behind in getting ready when I heard James come back in the back door, shouting for me to turn on the TV. I was so shocked, questioning what he was doing, and what was that important as I hurried through the house to meet him in our backroom where the TV is. He quickly just said, "I heard on the radio that a plane hit one of the Twin Towers and we need to see this..." I said, (and it's embarrassing to admit), "Well, I don't have time to watch TV right now!"

I just couldn't grasp the significance of what he was saying until I saw the footage. The scenes rattled me, as I saw the chaos and smoke and heard the panic in the reporters' voices. We both had to leave within minutes, so headed out separately, shaken, and listening to our cars' radios individually. By the time I'd traveled the short distance to Robin's home, the second tower had been struck also, and I was crying. When I reached her door, her expression told me she was aware if the news as well. We sat there together in her living room, with our sweet 2 year old boys, wondering what kind of world they were growing up in. It was a heart-wrenching moment, knowing that the devastation we were seeing was nothing compared the reality for those people there in New York City, and the other cities that would eventually be attacked.

I regretfully left Isaac with her and drove to the hospital, and when I reached the waiting room, there was a radio set up for the patients to all listen to the news coverage. We all sat there speechless, and the gravity of the situation really set in. I heard Mark Prater, a local weatherman, announcing live on the air, as the first tower collapsed. We heard other people mentioning more planes that were missing, and the fear that multiple attacks were underway. I just can't express the emotion that was building up inside me, and when I was called back and the nurse started taking blood to check my hormone levels, I just broke down. She paused, and asked kindly, "Is it this (pointing to the needle), or that (nodding her head towards the radio)?" I just sobbed, "That (the news on the radio) really puts this (labwork) in perspective."

I think at that moment I realized that though our struggle and longing to have a baby for several years had almost consumed our lives and was such a painful experience, that it paled in comparison to the fact that thousands of fellow Americans were losing their lives all at the same time. I left the office that day, with a resolve to consider how precious life is, and had a renewed gratitude for my precious family and friends.

That was our last month of treatment there at the clinic, since I developed another cyst, didn't get pregnant, and had to have a break emotionally. Then, the next month, as most of you know from the story shared here, we became pregnant with Abigail. It was interesting to hear how many families decided after September 11 to have another baby, or couples who decided to commit and get married. Events of that magnitude have a way of showing us what really matters, and to face the fact that we never know what day may be our last. Though I regret that we ever had to face such horrific tragedy in our country, I am thankful for the good things that God did allow as a result of others' awful choices. We have such limited views of earthly situations, but in the grand scheme of things, called life, God has amazing plans for us, and sometimes allows pain and death to show us His love and power. I'm so grateful I can trust in Him, when life seems out of control and filled with sadness. I hope you have that peace too.

Oh, for a thousand tongues to sing my great Redeemer's praise,

the glories of my God and King, the triumphs of his grace!

My gracious Master and my God, assist me to proclaim,

to spread through all the earth abroad the honors of thy name.

Jesus! the name that charms our fears, that bids our sorrows cease;

'tis music in the sinner's ears, 'tis life, and health, and peace.

He breaks the power of canceled sin, he sets the prisoner free;

his blood can make the foulest clean; his blood availed for me.

He speaks, and listening to his voice, new life the dead receive;

the mournful, broken hearts rejoice, the humble poor believe.

In Christ, your head, you then shall know, shall feel your sins forgiven,

anticipate your heaven below, and own that love in heaven.

Charles Wesley (1707 - 1788)