The school year started well, and has continued to be an enjoyable transition for Isaac. He is in a small, 7-8th grade class of children with various special needs. He has been so proud to have been given responsibilities as one of the more trustworthy students, and it's been a boost to his confidence to have a little more privilege and freedom due to his abilities. We have been really grateful for his teacher and her two aides, who have worked to encourage him.
It's easy to trust when things are rocking along pretty smoothly, isn't it?
Then, the note that came home yesterday, stating that today would be his teacher's last day. She's moving to another state due to her husband's job. Though I'd heard rumors from Isaac about such, and his teacher verified it was a possibility, I guess I expected more warning, or more time to prepare - for Isaac and myself. When dealing with more fragile, vulnerable students, I was taken aback that more warning wasn't given, that no teacher is lined up yet, and of course, the doubts and worry creep in to make me very fearful. Do they know what they're doing? Do they have a teacher willing to take on such a challenging class? What's going to happen?! (Can you hear the panic in my thoughts?)
I don't mean that to sound critical of his teacher. I was just surprised and didn't know what to expect since we are new to the school thing again, and I was afraid.
So, now I can choose - do I keep trusting that the God who put Isaac in this class, at this time, is still sovereign over this situation and the seeming instability? Or do I panic that he will struggle, not be cared for well, and not learn while they're in a time of transition?
I'll tell you what I have been leaning toward. And, it's embarrassing. I don't know why I think God can't handle this or is shocked by a teacher change mid-semester. I don't like it that we have to readjust after just settling into a routine. I liked his teacher and felt comfortable with her, and felt like she was the perfect person for him to begin the year with. As a wise friend reminded me though, she may very well have been perfect for that stage of the year, and the new teacher may be exactly who is best for him as he completes the year. Regardless, it's been hard to trust others with my oldest anyway, and so this makes me inwardly say, "See - ya'll weren't deserving of my trust after all!"
When actually... THEY are not who I'm supposed to be depending on anyway!
Whew. Would ya'll pray for my attitude and my ability to let God mature me through this? I know it is ok to admit that it's painful, and scary, but we have enough other issues we're working on at home with this particular precious kid of mine, that really, I don't need to put energy into something I am not able to control. Please pray for Isaac, and his classmates, and the wonderful ladies who remain in their room, as they all get through a time of change. I am praying not just that things would all go easily or smoothly, but that God would teach us through the events that take place, and the adaptation that needs to happen. I would just like to be brave enough to face it, knowing He hasn't left me, and cares even more about Isaac than I do.
This verse was on my heart when I woke up. I'm praying I believe and apply it.
And, I keep singing these precious lyrics too. I hope someone else is encouraged by them.
’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!
2 comments:
I'll be praying Jennifer. It is so hard to give it all to the Lord - especially when it has to deal with our children.
Regina
A similar thing happened to Sam in 1st grade. His teacher's husband took a job in Boston which put her out of the classroom mid-January. I fight not to blame those circumstances for Sam's struggle to stay on top of reading even now 2 years later. He stopped progressing in reading when she left and you know well how important 1st grade is to reading. This morning I was reading from "Sacred Parenting" ... about how important it is for our kids to struggle. It reminded me of Sam's journey to stay on the grade level. We know that it's in struggle that character is built and true dependence on God is established, but I know I want my kids to have it easy even though not much is learned in the easy and comfortable. Another source presented the idea that how we view struggle determines how we will respond. If the difficult process to learn is embraced instead of dreaded wouldn't we be more poised to learn almost expecting the transition to take place.
And then the final illustration of a parent allowing/watching their child struggle knowing full well of the outcome and the inner process necessary to carry it to completion. God and His son Jesus...Hebrews 5:8-9.
Weird how I landed on your blog and connected these things ... may you find encouragement somehow in all that. ;)
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