Fathers

There have been many thoughts swirling in this head of mine today. I keep pondering how I can sum up the impact of fathers. I don't know if I can even convey how very overwhelmed I am with gratitude that God has blessed me with not only a wonderful Daddy, but an amazing father for my own children. I know the legacy of our parents is carried on to following generations. There were some difficult issues in the past that could have been the continuing story of our family, on both parents' sides. Thankfully, God intervened and because of some godly men who shared the Truth of the Gospel with my parents, newly married and having a young daughter (me), the course of our future was then determined to be a hopeful, joyful one. To this day, I am so aware of the impact of the testimony of those believers, who shared, discipled, and lived out godly marriages for my parents to witness. They have said plenty of times how they realize their marriage shouldn't have survived, except for the grace of God touching them as newlyweds.

So, because of that, I was raised in a Christian home, by parents who were growing and learning how to form new patterns of commitment and faith. My Dad was a blessing to me growing up, for sure. We had fun outdoors, church was a highlight of the week as we worshiped together, we worked hard on projects in our garden, we loved the same music, shared goofy inside jokes, and we cheered for our Tigers. More than all those commonalities though, a reason I really thought my Dad was amazing was that he loved my mother. He passionately, enthusiastically adored her. He made it clear she was the love of his life, that he would do anything for her, and that she was his cherished partner for life. I remember almost feeling jealous, that she was so very special to him, and that he demonstrated such precious respect and sacrificial love for her.

Deep down though, I was so PROUD. I loved that there was such a commitment there, and that it was obvious to any who knew them, that no one could compare to his love for her. It mattered so much, because she hadn't had that type of daddy, and I used to think maybe Dad was trying to make up for any hurt in her past. Though I know that may not be possible, for the last 40 years, he still tries. I just love that about him. I love how he makes her giggle, how he compliments her, tells (fictional) stories about her dancing at the FloraBama, and generally causes her to shake her head with his shenanigans. I don't love that she is sometimes slightly embarrassed, but that he loves her boldly and enough to act goofy to get her to laugh (even if she reprimands him a little and tries to keep him in line).

As I've gotten older, I've realized even more how rare their relationship is, and how amazing he is as a father. I know he may not be perfect. But when I hear the lack of joy in friends' voices when describing their own dads, or the sometimes heartbreaking stories they have, I really see how blessed I have been. I've never doubted my Dad's love or support. Even when we have had conflict, I have felt completely safe and secure in our relationship. He has modeled the unconditional love of the Lord so well that trusting in Christ was never a stretch for me. It is so natural to believe that God has my best interest at heart when Dad has shown the same type of love in an earthly role. He expected any boy who was interested in me to meet and talk with him first, and he carefully guided me through awkward dating years, because there were some people who just weren't worth wasting my Dad's time. When James asked me out, and I was 20, I could only answer "probably yes" to his question of whether I would go out with him, since he had to meet my Dad first. I was really thankful when he met Dad's approval. I love that my father saved me much heartache by setting that standard.

Then as we grew older and left home, my parents began fostering and had the opportunity to love several additional children who came into their lives. My Mom definitely did the majority of the care and bonding with those babies and young children, and sacrificed energy and sleep for their good. Dad was supportive and fun and helpful when he was able to be around. The fact that he was willing to be a father figure to these children was precious, but has such a deep impact into my life still today, since he was the first example of a father to Isaac. We never would have guessed that our son would come from the foster care system, but I am so thankful that he did and that the only home he ever knew before ours, was with my parents. How perfect and precious is that?!

Then, that brings me to bragging on my husband, and the man I witness being a father daily. When it became apparent that Isaac's birthmom was going to relinquish her rights to him and my Mom told us, James was the one who spoke up and said, "Then we will adopt him!" There was a silence for a minute and I think I responded, "We will?" but it really was a clear leading from God. That moment is something I look back on with such gratitude, because his faith and certainty that God had placed such a sweet tiny baby in our lives for a reason had never crossed our minds till then, but it was so obviously the right thing. I am forever thankful that James had the boldness and willingness to take on parenting a child with unknown needs and a not-so-positive list of issues to address. Becoming a father through adoption is a blessing, no doubt. Choosing to be that dad, aware that it may be challenging with just the stuff that is already known, really takes courage. And courageous is a great word to describe my husband.

James has worked multiple jobs to support us, fully committed to my being able to stay home full-time with our children, and even went back to school twice to become a nurse, and then  further that degree while being a husband and father. He takes on challenges with us at the forefront of his mind, and when the jobs have been less than desirable, even menial, he does them out of pure love for his family. He is truly the most selfless human I have ever known. He gives of himself to our family in every way, and loves us fiercely. He encourages me in my crazy ventures, and helps me with housework! Our kids adore him, and long for time with him when he works extra, as he has these past six weeks. I love that they see his example, and my dad's, and know how a man should treat a lady, and honor the Lord, and provide a secure home for his family. Those characteristics are rare and we know it. The older kids have even commented and compared James to other men they see, and remarked how much more kind and fun and sweet he is. I see so much resemblance to my own dad, in him, and that is pretty much more than I could have ever asked for. They are the two greatest men I know and as fathers, no one can equal them. We are are so blessed with the gift of ya'll, and love you very much!!