My dear friend Brandy is coordinator of a hosting program for exchange students in our state, and had a student that needed to change host homes in late August. She had even asked me to pray that week for this German student. I did pray, not knowing the student at all. Then, on a Saturday morning, I received the text that was the crucial moment. As I sighed aloud out of concern for the student (Julia), James asked what was going on. I quickly filled him in, since he knew nothing of any previous texts. He asked what was needed, and I answered that by the next school day (3 days away), a change in placement needed to be settled even if it was temporary, since regulations are important to abide by, and the student had to remain in the assigned school system. His response was automatic. "Well, can't we help?" I initially protested, thinking of how our family would have to adjust, having a new teenager would make things more complicated, how everyone in our family would need to agree, that we have four kids already, and would that be best for that student who isn't used to a large family.... He just calmly said that for all practical purposes, Julia was an orphan in our country and since we had room, and could do it, that we should.
Folks, my husband is a compassionate man. He's also a wise protector of our family, who doesn't generally just jump into big decisions impulsively. The only other time in our marriage that I can remember he made a decision about which I was initially unsure, but he was calmly peaceful and certain, was when he stated we should adopt Isaac. To him, we knew of a problem, we were the obvious answer to the problem, even if only for two weeks while a more permanent placement was found. So, I stood there thinking he probably was right, and wouldn't I want someone to take in my daughter if she was across the world and needed a place to go? It did just make sense, and all of our kids were excited to think of having a temporary teenage sister. We told Brandy, and quickly got paperwork completed.
The next afternoon Brandy's family brought Julia over to meet us. I will never forget seeing her bound up the front steps, blond hair flying, as she enveloped me in a big hug with a cheerful, "Hi! I'm Julia!" Everyone was hugged and we all giggled a lot at her warmth and infectious smile. I don't know what we expected, but it wasn't such a beautiful, friendly young lady. I remember being stunned at her wonderful English and open manner, eager to answer anything we asked, and so excited about things working out for her to come to stay with us.Abi and I set up her corner in Abigail's room, bought bedding and some containers for storage, and cleaned out a dresser and closet in preparation. The next day Julia moved in. The transition was just no big deal. She was pleasant, easy-going and the kids loved her. It was impossible not to love her! After 10 days, we knew there was no reason to not let Julia stay as long as she needed, so we "voted" as a family, at dinner. We of course had already asked each child individually how they felt about Julia staying beyond the two weeks we committed to, and it was a unanimous "YES!" James had the idea to let them tell her through voting as he asked "All in favor of having Julia stay with us, raise your hand." I wish you could've seen her face, and ours beaming as well, as we made it official - 6 hands going up around the table, then 7. She voted yes too. :-)
The next three months were full of adventures, laughter, meeting other family members, a few adjustments, and lots of love. We tried to pack in cultural events, field trips, family traditions, and just lots of together time. Julia was not accustomed to a houseful of folks, since she's an only child, but she adjusted well to our loudness, little boys, sharing a room, and all the other aspects of family life that were so different than her normal. I can't say enough about how easy she was to get along with, and how opposite she was of the typical teenage stereotype. I even was able to shop for a Homecoming dress with her, and help fix her hair for the dance. That was something I'd never done even for myself, so was extra fun to share with Julia. 
She may not be perfect, but we have said repeatedly that we can't imagine any 16 year old being any kinder, cooperative, or as nearly perfect. Julia just fit our family. She got our quirky humor, she loved music and sang and whistled often. She was easy-going, cheerful, and flexible. The little boys begged for snuggles and to be held, and she willingly obliged. Isaac and Abigail liked having an older sibling, and Abi adored having a long-awaited sister to share her room.
Some of my favorite Julia memories:
the day she asked if she could call me "Mom" while she was here and missing her mom
hearing her sing beautifully in church beside me
cooking together
our talks at the kitchen table late at night
watching Auburn football and seeing her excitement for her new favorite sport and team
how translation of an occasional word would stump us and we'd act things out, laughing hysterically
coming downstairs to sit by me when i played piano
Abi and Julia's notes to each other in their room and bathroom
how everyone who met Julia adored her immediately
As time went on, however, Julia started struggling more and more with sleep issues, and then physically was not feeling herself and just couldn't bounce back. We guess that our food and climate may have contributed to her feeling rundown, plus it's just pretty difficult to live away from home for months as a teenager. Eventually, we knew she needed to return to Germany, as much as we hated it. Things were set into motion pretty quickly, and we were all taken aback a little over the news that her airline ticket had already been bought a few weeks before Christmas.
The timing was hard. We had wanted to share several Christmas traditions with her, and were very sad that we wouldn't able to experience those with her. We had to continually remind ourselves that God had placed her into our lives for a short time, when we could have never known her at all. Focusing on what we HAD shared needed to be our focus. Mourning what would not be only dampened our spirits and kept us from enjoying those last days. She flew out on December 12th, and I'll sum up the airport drop-off just by saying it was excruciating and awful as I could've imagined, but we all survived, despite security yelling, and children screaming and sobbing. Whew.
One other thing that was really precious and meaningful concerned her name. It is typical in Germany to not give children middle names, so Julia didn't have one. It always bugged Abi and my Mom especially, and we joked we'd have to give her one. That last week Julia was here, as she whistled "Amazing Grace," I smiled thinking how thankful I was that she had heard and learned the Truth of that song here. Not long afterward, she asked me what I thought about the name "Grace" and what it meant. I choked back tears as it hit me how very perfect that would be for her.
Grace.
God's favor.
An undeserved gift.
She unofficially became Julia Grace that day, as the perfectly undeserved and unexpected gift from God to our family. Since she's been home, with her very happy family, we have thankfully been able to Skype and text regularly. Technology is a huge blessing, as we can keep in touch, seeing her face, and hearing her voice. We are thankful she is feeling much better, and though we miss her terribly, we are so grateful she is home.
Appropriately, Julia came to us on Labor Day weekend. Since I love little details like that, it makes me smile a lot that while I may not have given birth or gone through "labor" to gain Julia as part of our family, she is still my daughter. I don't get to raise her or see her daily, but wow - what a privilege to have been able to mother her for 100 days here in my home. Now from a distance, I can be a friend and her Alabama mama as long as she'll have me. That is truly grace.
These photos are a sampling of our early Christmas celebration with Julia. We regretted not having her here long enough to truly celebrate Christmas American-style, but my sweet Alli offered to try to be nearly invisible as we exchanged gifts and gave Julia a stocking (something new for her!) and she caught some precious candids from that day. I'm forever thankful to have our Julia Christmas documented.
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